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item_updated_time: 1764345603740
title_diff: "[{\"diffs\":[[1,\"你是一个喜欢逃避的人吗？-今日头条\"]],\"start1\":0,\"start2\":0,\"length1\":0,\"length2\":17}]"
body_diff: "[{\"diffs\":[[1,\"<html>\\\r\\\n<head>\\\r\\\n  <title>你是一个喜欢逃避的人吗？-今日头条</title>\\\r\\\n  <basefont face=\\\"微软雅黑\\\" size=\\\"2\\\" />\\\r\\\n  <meta http-equiv=\\\"Content-Type\\\" content=\\\"text/html;charset=utf-8\\\" />\\\r\\\n  <meta name=\\\"exporter-version\\\" content=\\\"YXBJ Windows/608924 (zh-CN, DDL); Windows/10.0.0 (Win64); EDAMVersion=V2;\\\"/>\\\r\\\n  <style>\\\r\\\n\\tbody, td {\\\r\\\n\\t  font-family: 微软雅黑;\\\r\\\n\\t  font-size: 12pt;\\\r\\\n\\t}\\\r\\\n  </style>\\\r\\\n</head>\\\r\\\n<body>\\\r\\\n<a name=\\\"26861\\\"></a>\\\r\\\n<h1>你是一个喜欢逃避的人吗？-今日头条</h1>\\\r\\\n\\\r\\\n<div>\\\n<span><div style=\\\"font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 1.2px; text-align: justify;\\\"><div style=\\\"text-align: center; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"margin:0px;\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\"><img src=\\\":/6cef297edce242a984febe78634dea1a\\\" type=\\\"image/png\\\" data-filename=\\\"StKc9XaGdBejj1~tplv-tt-large.image.png\\\" alt=\\\"文章图片1\\\" style=\\\"background: url(\\\"/></span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: center; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\"><img src=\\\":/7cf4bc314fdb44abbc605cfc17047f37\\\" type=\\\"image/png\\\" data-filename=\\\"TQT0EuhIhq1khp~tplv-tt-large.image.png\\\" alt=\\\"文章图片2\\\" style=\\\"background: url(\\\"/></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">在今天文章的开始，我想请大家一起来做一个小小的测试。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\">以下这些行为，</span><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; font-weight: bold;\\\">有哪些是经常出现在你生活中，已经对你造成过困扰的？</span><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\">请在心里默默打个勾，并计数。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">1）<span style=\\\"background-color: rgb(255, 250, 165);-evernote-highlight:true;\\\">明知道一项事情很重要，也有时间，但就是觉得很麻烦，无法下定决心去行动；</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">2）<span style=\\\"background-color: rgb(255, 250, 165);-evernote-highlight:true;\\\">认为自己冒犯或伤害到了别人，担心看到别人失望的样子，不敢跟别人联系；</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">3）<span style=\\\"background-color: rgb(255, 250, 165);-evernote-highlight:true;\\\">明明很期待一个结果，但由于担心自己会失望，迟迟不敢去确认它；</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">4）<span style=\\\"background-color: rgb(255, 250, 165);-evernote-highlight:true;\\\">面对一个重要的机会，由于担心会失败而犹豫不决，最终跟它失之交臂；</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">5）<span style=\\\"background-color: rgb(255, 250, 165);-evernote-highlight:true;\\\">希望给别人留下完美的印象，对自己的一言一行过度在意，常常问自己“我有没有做错什么”；</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">6）常常想起过去经历过的失败、沮丧和尴尬场景，于是在遇到类似场景时，第一反应都是逃开；</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">7）由于不愿意回忆起不开心的感觉，常常刻意遏制自己的想法；</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">8）<span style=\\\"background-color: rgb(255, 250, 165);-evernote-highlight:true;\\\">做决定时总是瞻前顾后，总会想到非常多的风险和负面的可能性，导致优柔寡断；</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">9）<span style=\\\"background-color: rgb(255, 250, 165);-evernote-highlight:true;\\\">做一件事情时，哪怕时间已经很紧了，还是会分心、走神，做别的事情，拖到最后一刻才赶工。</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">好了，你的回答是多少？</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">如果你的回答是3个以下，那么恭喜你，你是一个行动力和自我掌控能力非常强的人，今天的文章可以不用读了。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">如果你的回答在3个及以上，那么，也许今天的文章，能够帮到你。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: center; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\"><img src=\\\":/1ecbbe43bf0f4de6a2069960c8207a31\\\" type=\\\"image/jpeg\\\" data-filename=\\\"SibVEO6Cj0te19~tplv-tt-large.image.jpg\\\" alt=\\\"文章图片3\\\" style=\\\"background: url(\\\"/></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 17px; line-height: 30px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); letter-spacing: 1px; white-space: normal; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\">一、经验性</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 17px; line-height: 30px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); letter-spacing: 1px; white-space: normal; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\">回避</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">你可能已经发现了，上面这个小测试中，每一项，其实都有一个共性：</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">逃避</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"background-color: rgb(255, 250, 165);-evernote-highlight:true;\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">逃避什么呢？不是逃避困难本身，也不是逃避具体的任务和挑战，</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">而是逃避我们内心反复发作的恐惧</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">。</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">我们经历过一些不愉快的事情，可能是别人的指责和恶语相向，可能是功败垂成的失望和沮丧，可能是一次无地自容的尴尬，可能是劳心劳力、殚精竭虑……</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">这些事情给我们带来强烈的不愉快感受，成为我们内心深处的一根刺，每每想到，就会唤醒记忆，让我们重温当时的感受。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">因此，为了避免重温这些感受，我们选择了什么呢？不去直面类似的场景和事情，而是</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">不断地把它们推后、延迟，能不做就尽量不去做，能避开就尽量避开</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">。即使许多事情只是举手之劳，但在我们潜意识里，它们就像荆棘，一点都不想触碰。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">这种现象，就叫做“</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">经验性回避</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\\\">”</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(136, 136, 136); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);\\\">（Experiential Avoidance）</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">。它指的是：为了避免产生我们不想要的内在体验，而去做出一些逃避性、替代性的行为。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">举个简单的例子：比如一个人曾经参加过一个公众活动，不小心出了丑，给他留下了深刻的印象。从此，再遇到类似的公众活动时，他就会想起曾经的体验，于是不敢再参加任何公众活动 —— 这就是一种典型的「经验性回避」行为。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">从本质来说，</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">经验性回避是一种正常的反应，是我们大脑出于趋利避害最自然、最根本的策略</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">。它本身是中性的，并没有好坏之分。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">但是，如果这种效应太强了，对生活中的许多事情都产生反应，已经切实地影响到了自己的生活，那么就需要解决了。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">什么情形下这种效应会过强，乃至于成为一种问题呢？有几种可能性。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\">一种是杏仁核过度活跃</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">。这时，我们会更容易触发经验性回避，将许多很小的事情往更严重、更坏的方向解读，从而夸大我们所面临的困难。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">另一种是性格较为敏感</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">。这种情况下，很小的效应和反馈，也会对我们造成强烈的影响，并且经久不散。为了避免这种影响，我们也会尽量规避可能唤起经验性回避的场景。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">还有一种是希望生活规律、有序、可控、稳定</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">。对于这样的人，对于错误和负面感受的容忍阈值会较低，同样会更容易采取回避策略。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">在这些情形中，如果放任不管，这种过度的经验性回避，可能会促使我们陷入慢性压力之中。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">结果就是：我们特别容易感到焦虑、烦躁、疲惫，对许多事情失去动力，任由各种问题沉甸甸地压在我们心上，陷入难以行动的怪圈里。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 17px; line-height: 30px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); letter-spacing: 1px; white-space: normal; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\">二、完美主义担忧</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">实际上，许多生活中常见的问题，或多或少都跟过度的经验性回避有关。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">最常见的就是拖延。</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">在《打开心智》中</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">，我把拖延的成因大致分为四类，其中“威胁敏感”一类，跟经验性回避就有密切关联。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">正是因为我们有过不愉快的经历，我们觉得做一件事情“很麻烦”“很累”“不情愿”，我们才会把类似的事情都解读为“威胁”，从而调动大脑的防御系统来对抗它，造成拖延。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">即使实际上，</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\">我们所面对的事情，远远没有我们想象的那么麻烦和困难</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">，但我们也很难看清楚这一点。因为我们脑海中的“经验性回避”和“威胁识别”，已经接管了大脑的控制中枢，让我们切换到了应激状态，不断地为我们灌输负面信号。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">再比如“完美主义担忧”，同样跟它密不可分。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"background-color: rgb(255, 250, 165);-evernote-highlight:true;\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\">什么叫“完美主义担忧”呢？</span><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; font-weight: bold;\\\">它指的是不良的完美主义。也就是凡事都追求不超出自己的掌控和计划，希望一切尽在掌握之中，不能容忍任何意料之外的情况发生，不能容忍自己“出错”—— 这会给自己造成巨大的压力，带来负面感受，削弱行动力</span><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\">。</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">为什么会有完美主义担忧呢？很大一部分原因在于：我们经历过“出错”的感觉，这种感觉让我们非常不好受，我们的生活被打乱、计划被破坏，不得不花很多时间精力去弥补。因此，我们才造成了凡事追求控制感的补偿机制，希望事事都如自己所愿。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">但这种凡事都追求控制感的生活有多累呢？相信不用我多说了。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">类似的问题还有很多，再举几个例子：</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">敷衍赶工：</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">为了尽量减少面对“不愉快记忆”的时间，当面对类似的任务时，总是想快点把它们搞定。于是“闭着眼睛”，草草经手一遍、走完流程就把它完结掉，而无视后续出现问题的可能性和风险。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">精神内耗：</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">在面对会唤起“不愉快记忆”的事情时，由于下意识的抗拒和排斥，总是要给自己做半天的心理建设，给自己打气、鼓劲，才能动手去做。平白无故耗费了大量的时间和精力，又增加了行动的阻碍。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">想法抑制：</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">当脑海中回想起“不愉快记忆”的端倪时，总是会非常敏锐地觉察到，立刻指挥大脑去压下它、忘掉它，或者刻意地转移注意力，从而常常分心、走神，情绪波动，难以保持专注。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">场景回避：</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">由于担心触发“不愉快记忆”，在生活和工作中总是避开类似的场景，不敢承接相关任务，不敢社交，不敢展示自己，甚至不敢跟别人建立较为密切的关系。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">躯体症状：</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">由于经验性回避导致的慢性压力，引发我们长期处于应激状态之中，从而总是肌肉紧绷，失眠，焦虑，头痛，疲倦……</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">这些，都是过度的经验性回避所带给我们的纠结和困扰。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">那么，有什么方法可以改善这种情况，帮助我们克服过度的经验性回避呢？</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">分享几个我自己实践的心得，希望对你有帮助。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">1. 对照打分</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">这是一个足够简单、又足够有效的技巧。具体来说就是：</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">1）在你做一件事情之前，先按照你的感受，给它的困难程度打分；</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">2）当你完成了这件事情，再依据你在完成过程中的感受，给它实际的困难程度打分；</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">3）把这两个分数进行对比，看看哪一个更高，差值是多少。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; font-weight: bold;\\\">这个方法有几个需要注意的点</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">：</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">1）打分的区间从1到10。1代表最容易，毫不费力，10代表最困难，完全不想去做。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">2）这里的“困难程度”不是指它客观上有多难、需要多长时间，而是指你需要做多少心理建设，需要付出多少努力，以及自己会产生多少负面感受。请依据这三者来打分。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">3）不需要考虑太多，按照自己的第一直觉打分即可，第一直觉往往才是最准确的。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">这个习惯可以内化到定期的日记里面，也可以按照实际情况安排，非常简单：比如你今天想到一件事情要做，把它记下来，就可以按照你的感受顺手打个分；等你做完了，把它划掉之前，再打个分，对比一下。举手之劳即可。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">我自己的实际体验是：大多数需要用到这个方法的事情里面，前者的分数大约是5-7，后者的分数大约是3-5，甚至偶尔会出现7和3、7和2这样的极端情况。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\">这个方法有什么作用呢？</span><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; font-weight: bold;\\\">它能够为你提供非常多“如释重负”的时刻，为你源源不断地提供能量支撑，</span><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\">帮你看清楚萦绕在你面前的迷雾，让你更有信心去面对各种各样的情境。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">一旦你试着去做对照打分，你也许就会发现：许多你觉得非常困难的事情，许多你一直想逃避的事情，原来压根就没有那么复杂，一切都只是杞人忧天而已。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold; background-color: rgb(255, 250, 165);-evernote-highlight:true;\\\">2. 游戏思维</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">这是一种我非常喜欢的思维。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"background-color: rgb(255, 250, 165);-evernote-highlight:true;\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\">简单来说，就是把生活视为一个个挑战。</span><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; font-weight: bold;\\\">我们通过克服困难，完成挑战，增长经验值，来达成一个又一个的成就</span><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\">。通过这种方式，为生活提供目标、价值和意义感。</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">举个例子，比如公众演讲。假设我们因为曾经的失败，而排斥和抗拒公众演讲，那么，不妨把“能够在许多陌生人面前演讲”看作一个终极Boss，为自己设定目标，让自己去攻克它。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">那么，为了打倒这个Boss，我们需要做什么呢？需要打怪升级。这时，我们就可以从小到大设定一个个小目标，一步步去攻克。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">比如：先从对着镜子讲话开始，让自己发音、吐字清晰；下一步再找朋友陪自己练习，讲给朋友听；然后再把范围扩大，从一个听众，到两三个听众，到五六个听众……一步步提升自己的“等级”；</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">与此同时，</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">我们还需要学习技能、获取装备</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">。这时，我们就可以从周边入手，学习各种各样的技能。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">比如：用结构化思维“磨稿”，让稿子更加言简意赅；录下自己的声音反复听，去掉无用和冗余的内容；准备好各种能够复用的模块和素材，让自己更有底气；慢慢过渡到即兴表达，练习自己打腹稿和即兴讲话的能力。等等。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">最后，我们还可以“招募队友”，于是，我们可以向身边有经验的朋友求助，请求他们来帮忙指导、提供反馈……</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">实际上，</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">这其实就是把拆解目标、解决问题的过程换了一种视角，但神奇的地方也就在于这里：用这种视角去看待问题，许多你觉得困难的事情，似乎都变得没那么困难了</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">原因在于：这就是一种“高能量”的状态。它能够更加激发起你的唤醒状态，让你把紧张转变成兴奋，把恐惧转变成勇气，把痛苦转变成热情。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">3. 直面想法</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">当自己陷入“不愉快记忆”的时候，你会怎么做呢？许多人会立刻去抑制它、逃避它、挣脱它，但这样做是低效的。这只会强化它在大脑中的权重，让大脑误以为它是重要的，从而令我们更容易想起它。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">一个更好的做法是：对这个想法拟人化，把它想象成一个人，一个叽叽喳喳向你汇报各种小道消息和八卦的人，然后，盯着它，等到它说得累了、疲了，就让它闭嘴，告诉它：我知道了，你下去吧。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">这个方法很有效。</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">事实上，你越害怕它、越担心它，它对你的影响就越大</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">。因此，逃避是没有用的，逃避只会壮大它。只有直面这些想法，你才能对它们免疫。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\">用拟人的话来表述：</span><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; font-weight: bold;\\\">一旦它发现它能够对你造成伤害，那么它就会变本加厉，在你面前用各种方式来体现自己的存在感</span><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\">；但一旦它发现，无论它做什么，你都毫不在乎，那么它就会觉得兴味索然，不会再来烦你。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">有不少研究也支持了这个做法。2020年一项研究发现，当我们想要停止一个想法时，一般有三种做法，分别是转移注意力、正念和主动抑制。前两者见效很快，但存在残余，可能会使得想法依然时不时进入我们脑海；而主动抑制虽然见效较慢，但有效期也更长，效果更好，能更彻底地让自己摆脱它。</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(136, 136, 136); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);\\\">(Kim等, 2020)</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">简而言之：有意识地关注这个想法，不要逃避，然后在意识里“轻轻地把它推开”，可以更好地抑制这个想法的再现，在更长的时间里不会受到它的困扰。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">4. 接受痛苦</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">最后，就是接受这么一件事情：</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">生命一定不可能是完美的，它必然有很多我们不想要、不愉快的侧面</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">。这些侧面是必不可少的，它们同样是组成生命的构成部分，也是让我们体验更加丰富的元素。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">这其实也是 ACT</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(136, 136, 136); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);\\\">（接受与承诺疗法）</span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">的理念：真正的痛苦并不来源于我们的情绪感受，而是来源于我们企图去回避它、抛弃它、切断它。只要你能够打开自己的心扉，试着去容纳它们，你就会发现，它们其实也不过如此。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">关键是什么呢？是要把我们的注意力集中在有意义的事情上 ——</span> <span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(10, 102, 194);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; color: rgb(10, 102, 194); font-weight: bold;\\\">生命是非常宝贵的，不要把时间浪费在无用的内耗上面，要去做有用的事情</span></span><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">如果一件事情无法逃避，那么害怕是没有用的，去提高自己的能力和经验，才是解决它的正道；</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">如果一件事情你无法控制，那么焦虑是没有用的，去做好别的事情，让自己更强大、更灵活、更有弹性，才是降低风险的正道；</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">让自己充分调动起来，让自己活跃起来。你觉得生活里有很多问题，是因为你停下了脚步；往前走，让自己变强，你变强了，问题就会变弱。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\">记住：<span style=\\\"background-color: rgb(255, 250, 165);-evernote-highlight:true;\\\">“你不快乐的每一天都不是你的”。不要让自己受到负面想法的摆布，更不要让自己活在恐惧、警觉和逃避之中。</span></span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: justify; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 8px 8px 24px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px; background-color: rgb(255, 250, 165);-evernote-highlight:true;\\\">你不把它们当一回事，它们就无法伤害到你。</span></div><div style=\\\"text-align: center; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px none rgb(51, 51, 51);\\\"><span style=\\\"font-family: PingFangSC-Regular; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30px;\\\"><img src=\\\":/b7d99e428e1c4f4a9e1fd38ae90e959b\\\" type=\\\"image/png\\\" data-filename=\\\"TQT0EvN9aLUrpJ~tplv-tt-large.image.png\\\" alt=\\\"文章图片4\\\" style=\\\"background: url(\\\"/></span></div></div><div><br/></div></span>\\\n</div></body></html>\\u0000\"]],\"start1\":0,\"start2\":0,\"length1\":0,\"length2\":47034}]"
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